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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in
rebecca's LiveJournal:
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| Friday, October 16th, 2009 | | 7:39 pm |
| | Saturday, September 19th, 2009 | | 6:58 pm |
| | Wednesday, July 29th, 2009 | | 2:29 am |
come on mood shift, shift back to good again
I met Rachel Maddow tonight and totally tried to play it cool, but couldn't because I had run after she and her lovely girlfriend Susan at the Four Seasons as they were leaving the bar and going to the elevator. She was adorable and had amazing glasses on, and said she had been falling asleep drinking a scotch in the bar. She went to introduce Susan and I was like "Ha, yeah, I know you! I'm just a big fan." I suck, ha. There's really a lot I would have loved to say to her and ask her, but I was completely flustered and blushing and didn't want to hound them. She asked where I was from and what I did and all that, and was as approachable and cool as I would hope she would be. And, like every celebrity anyone says they see in person (Conan O'Brien excluded of course), shorter than you'd think. Amy said she'd probably be happy to have someone young coming up to her though, to know that she's got the youth market cornered or whatever. So yeah, I'm in LA right now, and I'm leaving Thursday to drive across the country with Amy and Joe, and their wonderful, amazing, talented (in case Amy's reading this, haha. She's obsessed with her baby) standard French poodle, Bruno. He really is a great dog. But I've rarely met a dog I didn't like. I'm considering more and more moving out here once my lease is up next July. I don't know though. Things are weird. I'm having a good time out here though, and trying to enjoy the time away from everything. I just do not really know if there's anything for me in Philly in the long-term. But maybe I want to try to make a dent in the music scene there before I straight-up quit. Fuck my life. I feel so stuck and lonely and fucking stupid when I really think about it. There need to be major changes, and of course I know what they are, but I feel bolted to a horrible pattern that I've fallen into and sometimes I feel powerless to change it. And I'm fucking lonely, and I feel like that's the root of it all. But at the same time, it's not the solution to not be lonely. I know better than to think I could make my happiness contingent upon someone else being in my life, and most of the time I'm okay with who and where and how I am. It's just when I can't ever stop thinking about everyone else in the world's problems in order to avoid articulating the fact that I'm pretty sure I have a serious problem, and I just want to break down and cry. I almost did like 3 times today, pretty randomly, and I'm blaming this all on hormones. I'd like to start writing in this again. I'm going outside for a cigarette. | | Tuesday, April 28th, 2009 | | 12:02 am |
blog.modernmechanix.com is the best blog you aren't reading. unless you already read it. here is an advertisement from 1960:  | | Monday, April 6th, 2009 | | 11:49 pm |
| | Saturday, March 14th, 2009 | | 1:17 am |
| | Monday, February 2nd, 2009 | | 2:47 pm |
| | Saturday, January 10th, 2009 | | 3:59 pm |
| | Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 | | 2:03 am |
i just ordered peanut butter over the internet! the marvels of today... much to do in the coming weeks. too much to think about in terms of everything. | | Monday, October 13th, 2008 | | 11:04 pm |
| | Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008 | | 4:38 pm |
1950's Italian Police Motorcycle Drill Team | | Saturday, September 6th, 2008 | | 9:01 pm |
It ends. Right here, right now.
I wanted to share this- the source is a "converted former Ron Paul republican"- linked from Andrewsullivan.com http://www.politicalbase.com/profile/jnail/blog/&blogId=3652blog/&blogId=3652Eight months ago, I was a registered Republican, standing in a cold room in Iowa supporting Ron Paul in the Iowa caucuses. For most of my life, I've been a believer in small government and individual liberties, the ideals that, according to what I learned in high school civics, the Republican Party stood for. I voted Libertarian in 2004, simply because I felt that the Libertarian candidate seemed to best voice those ideals at the time. As I stood in that cold caucus room, I listened to several people stand up and talk about their candidate. For the most part, instead of giving me compelling reasons to vote for that candidate, each stump speaker (aside from the bubbly young woman who spoke about Ron Paul) spent their time not talking up their own candidate, but hurling shovels of specific insults at the people in the Democratic caucus in an adjacent building. I didn't learn much about Mike Huckabee or Mitt Romney or John McCain, but I did hear a lot of talk about the negative character, poor experience, and profound ignorance of the primary Democratic candidates, Obama, Edwards, and Clinton. Over the next several months, as the campaign season went along, I started actually opening my ears and listening to talk radio a bit. Previously, I would just listen to music in my truck during my commute, but I started tuning into a pair of local talk radio stations, which aired programs by Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and the like.And I was deeply disturbed. Instead of hearing compelling arguments for why John McCain was the right man for the job, I would hear three nonstop hours of insults levied toward Barack Obama, much of it not directly aimed towards him, but intended to serve as character assassination by association. Breathless stories about his pastor, Reverend Wright, and a guest pastor at his church, David Pfleiger. Amazing tales about William Ayers. Very rarely did I hear a word abou t policy, and when I did, it was usually just deriding a specific plank of Obama's plan. After a month of listening to a large daily dose of talk radio, I learned virtually nothing about what John McCain actually planned to do for this country.What I did hear, though, is a lot of supposedly negative things about Barack Obama, most of which seemed nonsensical and completely frivolous compared to the problems of this nation. The worst, for me, was repeated harpings on the idea that Barack Obama was somehow "bad" because he was a community organizer. I know what community organizers do. I have friends and family who are involved with social work and community organization. They register people to vote. They get people involved with the political process. They know the real, day-to-day problems of the people in their community like the back of their hand. They help people with their life problems, helping elderly folks keep the lights on and helping gro ups with a significant problem get organized enough to get the attention of an alderman or city hall. The people on the ground, the "community organizers" and very local politicians, do a ton of good work for the people of this country. And through that process, they gain a deep understanding of the real problems and thoughts of everyday people. That brings us to last night. Until last night, I was slightly leaning towards Obama, but I hadn't firmly decided who I was voting for. I held out hope that during the Convention, I could get a real grasp on where the Republican Party was.Last night, Sarah Palin gave a speech that was in theory meant to get people like me excited about the Republican ticket. This was one that should have gotten me back on board and excited about the McCain/Palin platform.Instead, it sickened me in a very deep and personal way. I could go through some of the quotes that made my stomach turn, but many others have already don e a great analysis of the speech.All I heard was a long stream of extremely bitter attacks against Barack Obama, none of which go even the slightest step towards solving the problems of this country. When I tuned in, Rudy Giuliani was firing off some attacks, but I expected that - every convention has some room for criticism of the opposition.But Palin's speech was obviously meant to be the centerpiece, the real statement about the direction of the Republican party.And I heard absolutely nothing about their plans for the future.All I heard was a long, long stream of pointless attacks against Barack Obama, the Democratic Party in general, and the media.No solutions. No real content. No anything.There was one line at the end that really twisted things for me."Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America ... he's worried that someone won't read them their rights?" Every single human being has the right to a fair trial and to be treate d humanely by their captors. John McCain, of all people, should understand this. He was a prisoner of war. On the one fundamental issue that his entire campaign is centered around - the character-building experience of his POW stint - he gets it wrong.America cannot be a shining beacon of light in the world when we condone policies of treating our enemies with the same standards as the Viet Cong treated their enemies.Every criminal, no matter how heinous their crimes, deserves humane treatment and a fair and expedient trial. Period. That is a fundamental human right. When you're giving the central speech of your party's convention, to make a joke out of it makes a joke out of me. Not just as a (former) Republican, but as an American.This morning, I donated $250 to Barack Obama's campaign. Tomorrow, I'm stopping by the voter registration office to change my party affiliation to Democrat. Saturday, I hope to plant an Obama-Biden sign in my fr ont yard.This lack of respect for your political opponents, this denial of basic human rights to those who oppose us, this complete emptiness of policy - it ends. Right here, right now." Current Mood:  thankful | | Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008 | | 1:25 am |
 rest in peace, mulligan. you were a good boy. Current Mood:  crushed | | Saturday, April 5th, 2008 | | 4:09 pm |
hands up guns out represent the world town
so i know i haven't written anything in like a year, but here's some stuff from my junior recital that was this past thursday! my dad's getting more of it up on teh intrawebz so there's more to come. first up, Batti Batti O Bel Masetto from Mozart's Don Giovanni: (Justin Binek on piano) next up, Bunky's Funny Like the Moon (JP Dudas on drums, Zach Poyatt on guitar, Andy Black on bass, Koofreh Umoren on trumpet): A song I dedicated to Caitlin, The Book of Love by Magnetic Fields (me dickin' around on the guitar!): I fucked up and every time i try to fix it it gets worse, so just scroll down here to see the Magnetic Fields one. And the last one for now, an incredible arrangement of Woe/Come On Up To The House by Tom Waits (Arranged by Andy Rinaldi, Justin, JP, Zach, and Andy Black from before, Adam Turchin and Walt Young on tenor sax, Tim Dolzine on bari, and Brian Clements on alto). I messed up a bit, but we started and ended together so it's all gravy: and here's a bonus video of tom simmons' parents! WE ARE UNTOUCHABLE VIRAL VIDEO STARS! | | Sunday, August 26th, 2007 | | 8:02 pm |
in 12 hours, i'll be in the wachovia center, waiting to audition for american idol. i am a shame sandwich, but we'll see how it goes. the process has been pretty interesting and crazy so far. i'll try and write a full update tomorrow when i get home. school starts wednesday i think. gotta double check that. Current Mood:  cynical | | Thursday, May 17th, 2007 | | 12:42 am |
THINGS I WILL MISS ABOUT THIS APARTMENT: -the air fresheners they use in the trash room -the complete sense of anonymity; exhibited by my landlord not knowing my name, or being able to walk in stinking drunk at 4 in the morning with no consequences (even though the doormen are judging me harshly). -the huge roof (this place is 16 stories tall, and wiiiiiiide. i can stop tempting myself with thoughts of tidy suicide. -doormen: i never have to go down to let anyone in, and if they don't call, it's always a nice surprise when someone shows up -being able to wake up 10 minutes before class and actually get there on time -neighbors never wanting to start trouble - i can play music as loudly as i want at 5 in the morning (yeah, i'm a bad person). -people fighting outside the train station i look down on, late at night. this is even more entertaining than it sounds. -spying on people in the parking garage across the street THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT THIS APARTMENT: -having to tell people i live in the "Arts Tower/Condo" -my mini-fridge, complete with 5-inch tall, solid-block-of-ice freezer -skankiest. carpet. ever. -only being able to have a futon, because there's no room for an additional bed -the entirely unromantic idea that i live in an efficiency studio apartment -not having cayt live with me. not only will i soon have live-in companionship and double my music collection, but she cleans! -having nowhere to put anything -construction at 4 in the morning right outside -the skeevy, disgusting, hick maintenance men so. so so so. i have my jury tomorrow, and i'm not feeling great about it. i'll do well enough, and hopefully my improv on Reflections will be decent and engaging, but i've been having sudden troubles committing all my classical to memory. i think i'm just overthinking everything, but that's not gonna stop me from getting up tomorrow and practicing more. by 3:30 (if not earlier) tomorrow, i will be done with my sophomore year. it's been a strange one, and i'm not gonna sum it up right now because i should get to bed, but i feel alternately solid and jiggly all the time. i have really great friends, but i feel like everything is fragile and could fall apart at any given moment, and i'm not too sure why. that's for another time though. this is purely logistic. dan and carrie are in atlantic city right now, and they're gonna come tomorrow i guess in the afternoon, spend the night and then drive me back to long island on friday. i was originally planning on staying home until around the 10th or so, but i bought a ticket to Calvin Johnson for june 2nd here, and i should start looking for a job anyway, so it looks like i'll only be home until the end of the month. i'm gonna try to get a job in a doctor's office either in pennsylvania or jersey, so i'll have my car with me. plus, i'm gonna be doing some gigs here and there with some friends, and i'm gonna keep looking for this elusive wedding band gig. i just started reading Effortless Mastery, and i like it a lot so far. i hate reading self-help books, but it's shocking how well i'm relating to it. lots of stuff i don't really care to lay down right here right now, but i'm just looking forward to seeing everyone at home. it's weird that i'm not going to be home all summer, but i think i need to put my life into perspective. because i don't have a job, i don't feel like a functional person, and i guess i need to do some experimenting. i was sort of considering being a guinea pig to make some money, but my dad talked me out of it. plus, the more i think about it, it makes me queasy. "you are a locked window. i can see in, but can't get in." Current Mood:  anxiousCurrent Music: of montreal - the early four-track recordings | | Friday, April 6th, 2007 | | 2:18 am |
| | Sunday, March 11th, 2007 | | 12:57 am |
"he really likes the westerns best. he'd rather be a sheriff with a gold star on his chest than that weird guy who never says a word and when spoken to pretends he hasn't heard." | | Thursday, March 8th, 2007 | | 3:42 pm |
random quotes of the day
"i used to wear nylons on my legs to do temp work. now i wear them on my head to stop sexism!" -bruce mcculloch "my love for you is an open book. it's called, 'i hate you.'" -meee | | Monday, March 5th, 2007 | | 4:06 am |
no sleep til brooklyn again apparently. it's just too hard to wake up in the morning. i wish i knew where my guitar was :/ i want to look like mary-ann from gilligan's island. is that so much to ask? i'm so looking forward to the enormous cup of coffee i'm gonna have in 5 hours. i guess i'll go over some music for a while. do something productive. is this internship lady EVER going to write me back? Current Music: sarah vaughan |
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